Living in a wealthy nation makes you fat

A Discordian shall partake of No Hot Dog Buns, - Principia Discordia


 
Yet another study has been published showing how everyone living in a wealthy country is making themselves fat and diabetic. The latest culprit is the unholy combination of fast food and coffee. If people haven’t always known that fast food was bad for you and makes you fat, Super Size Me should have pretty much cleared up any confusion. This time the list of suspects includes one of people's favourite products of colonialization: Coffee.

Coffee has been a beverage of the rich ever since Haitian slaves were producing it for the western world in the 1700s. Today, we still import it from many of the same places that we were 100s of years ago, and it is a part of everyday life for virtually everyone living in a western nation, not just the rich. Now, the most important tool in your ability to work a double shift is proven to be damaging to your waistline when paired with the only food you have time to eat during that same double shift. What is a poor caffeine fiend to do?

I suppose that the first thing that you'd want to do is just stop caring. Your blood sugar fluctuates all the time. What's another massive spike? Then you might panic about diabetes and want to go in another direction. What's the best way to eat healthy and avoid oppression of developing nations? You want to still to foods that can be found near your home. Ideally, foods you can harvest yourself. Planting an apple tree and waiting for the apples is a bit too long-term for most people in a blood-sugar induced panic, so best to stick to what you can do right now. Dandelions are pretty easy find in many cities and suburbs, especially if you aren't too diligent about lawn care. Conveniently, they are also very nutritious!

Once you've mastered the art of dandelion salads, you may still be hungry. This will take considerably more skill, but the rewards could keep you fed indefinitely: both rats and pigeons are made of meat. Many people choose to overlook this fact, but it is absolutely true. And, with responsible harvesting, you won't even take any food away from the hobos!

NO HOT DOG BUNS Fridge Magnet